


Words in Deep Blue

by 6_impossiblethings



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neil Josten as Nathaniel Wesninski, Raven!Neil, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-09-26 20:43:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6_impossiblethings/pseuds/6_impossiblethings
Summary: “You don’t have to be with him you know.”“It’s not that simple.”Both teammates on their college exy team before becoming partners in class, the boys exchange secrets as Andrew helps Neil escape an abusive relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note any poem shared in this fic will be borrowed from others but credit will be given either in the chapter or the notes.

Andrew barely interacted with any of his teammates but watching Neil interact with Riko grated on all of his nerves. They reminded Andrew of his past and it triggered things inside his mind Andrew would be happy to forget. As Andrew walked into his creative writing class, he passed Riko holding Neil up against the building. To anyone passing by, the position might look intimate, but Andrew’s eyes connected with Neil’s blue ones and he only saw panic. 

Riko was whispering in his ear and whatever it was only seemed to make Neil more anxious. He then shoved himself away from Neil and stalked off. Andrew kept walking but heard footsteps following behind him. He turned just enough to see that it was Neil, but he kept walking to his class. 

“You don’t have to be with him you know.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is, you’re just making it complicated.”

The redhead sent him a glare and whispered, “you don’t know what you’re talking about so drop it.”

It was no secret among the team that Neil had an abusive relationship with Riko. Even with playing a sport as violent as exy, the boy too often turned up with injuries that couldn’t be simply explained by a rough practice or game. Andrew paid close attention in recent days to where Neil got hit and where his injuries appeared. 

Some days it was little thin cuts. Other days it was bruising. The visible injuries made Andrew question what Neil was hiding under his ratty clothes and tough exterior. One day Neil had bruising around his neck, which some of his teammates bet was hickies; thus, creating the idea of Riko and Neil being together. 

Andrew was more unsure though. He had similar injuries once and felt it was more likely from something a little more insidious than kissing.

It was so easy to see something of himself in Neil. Perhaps that’s why the boy captured his attention so much. 

Andrew turned into their classroom, dropped the topic, and resumed his usual descent into boredom. Neil slide into the seat beside him without another word. 

It was the first week of classes and he had been surprised by sharing a class with Neil Josten, freshmen striker on their school’s exy team. Despite having practiced all summer together, Andrew had barely interacted with the boy. He was somewhat curious about their new teammate and the attention Riko paid his pair. Everyone knew by now that Riko’s previous partner had left the sport broken in more ways than just physically. Unable to ever pick up a racket again. Or even glance at the court.

Kevin Day’s transfer from the school had been abrupt and left the students gossiping over where he might be. He hadn’t made any public appearances since his hand was destroyed last winter. 

Andrew wondered if their freshmen striker was just stupid or had a death wish with the way he stood by Riko’s side. Kevin and Riko had simply been like brothers but Riko’s and Neil‘s relationship was on a whole other level. Most days Neil never even spoke to anyone else with Riko’s tight leash around him. The team had bet they were together based on the amount of time they spent together and that Riko never let Neil go near anyone else. He had always been possessive and had a jealous streak that showed with Kevin but was glaringly obvious with Neil. No one could speak to him and the way Riko talked about Kevin’s replacement made him seem like property. 

The professor entered and droned on about an introduction to prose and various new platforms for creative writing. Andrew glanced over and watched Neil doodle exy racquets and their team logo instead of taking any actual notes. Junkie, he thought. 

Finally, the class came to an end and the professor announced he wanted them to each find a piece to share with the class next time. An easy first assignment he called it. Just something to get the class started before they had to share some of their own work with their classmates. He also mentioned part of the class would require groups or a partner to peer read their work for them. Andrew felt suddenly much more grateful of Neil’s presence. Andrew was going to hate sharing his work, but he figured Neil would equally so. He was much better than the alternative of a random student.

Class ended and Neil leaned over and asked, “so partners? Yes or no?”

Andrew simply responded with “don’t ask stupid questions you already know the answer to.”

“I had to ask. Not like we ever talk. I didn’t want to assume you would work with me just because we’re teammates.

His response shocked Andrew since everyone knew Neil only interacted with other team members when he did talk to anyone besides Riko. At least this wouldn't be boring.   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After practice Riko came up to Andrew and pushed him into the lockers and said, “you may be allowed to work with him but do not forget who he belongs to.”

Andrew quickly pulled a knife from his armbands and warned him with a “careful Riko.” 

And he backed off quickly after that. So strange for him to be so jealous over school work. Andrew felt a little bad for anyone else Neil had to work with. At least Andrew could handle Riko. Not everyone was so lucky. 

Neil walked up to Andrew and quickly apologized for Riko and said he would message him later with what he was planning on bringing to the next class. 

He hadn’t had to wait long before receiving Neil’s message. Andrew was curious what he would select to share with the class. Probably something sports related. Or Riko related. Andrew couldn’t decide which would be more boring, but instead he was surprised. It was option C) taking a dig at Andrew.

[9:21pm] Neil Josten: “It doesn't hurt because if you keep hurting the same part of you again and again and again, the nerve endings all die. And when that happens, that part of you goes numb. That's why it doesn't hurt. Don't be proud of it.” – Iain S. Thomas

Everyone on their team new by now Andrew cared about nothing. He never claimed to want anything. During practice or games, he cared only enough to show up on time and stand in goal. Sometimes he could be talked into trying a little, but most days he just did not care. He was numb to everything and everyone knew it. 

Just reading those few lines make the scars on Andrew's wrists begin to tingle. Of course, no one knew why he was numb to the world. He had been trying to hold on for so long using that exact method. 

He wanted nothing and that’s all he felt. He just didn’t think Josten would point it out the first chance he got. 

[9:34pm] Andrew Minyard: My Papa’s Waltz

[9:35pm] Neil Josten: what??

[9:37pm] Andrew Minyard: My pick. Go look it up I’m not doing all of the work for you

[9:45pm] Neil Josten: fuck you for that, Minyard

Interesting. Andrew had picked it solely because it reminded him of one of his many disastrous foster homes. He thought Neil had been keeping more secrets than whatever he was doing with Riko but Neil gave himself away on this. Another thing the two of them had in common then.

[9:47pm] Andrew Minyard: It wasn’t for you

[9:48pm] Neil Josten: oh

[9:49pm] Neil Josten: never mind. you picked a good one then

[9:49pm] Neil Josten: how was my pick?

Andrew debated on how to respond. Not wanting to give Neil any sort satisfaction in needling him he finally settled on a simple answer. 

[9:50pm] Andrew Minyard: Boring and not very subtle of you. Try harder next time


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil gives insight to his connection to Riko.

Within the first few weeks of class, the boys had fallen into a routine. Sit next to each other, speak only hushed sarcastic comments about their classmates selected work, and exchange messages afterwards about their writing or homework. They barely spoke any personal comments after that first conversation about Riko. Neil found himself enjoying the goalie’s company. 

Neil kept selecting poems or stories to try and get a rise out of his apathetic teammate. His first attempt was a pretty obvious dig at him but also directed a little towards himself.

His "I’m fine" was a constant answer. He responded that no matter the circumstances. Neil sometimes wondered why he insisted on telling others that when it was often so far from the truth. Sometimes it was to keep people away from wondering what Riko did to him. Having to keep others out was a necessity. 

If anyone learned the truth, Kevin would look like the lucky one between him and Neil. He just had to hold on through the next few years until he got a short break before Riko’s professional team bought his contract. For now, he was content to let the public think of him as the lucky boy Riko decided to make his new partner. 

Neil was desperate to learn from Kevin and kept himself in the other boy’s shadow. Careful to pass and create assists for Riko while holding back from his full speed. He could be the fastest player in the NCAA, but Neil wanted to stay out of the headlines. 

Neil, unlike Kevin, was unafraid to stand up to Riko, but valued his survival and health more. Even before Riko, Neil had rebelled against his father, which had left him with many gruesome scars. Days when he pushed back from Riko’s treatment of him lead to dark and violent nights filled with knives and blood. He was expected to follow Riko’s every order but sometimes he bit back. As time went on, Neil grew used to the other boys’ behavior and acted accordingly. 

Neil studied his newly selected poem but his mind wandered back to Andrew’s first selection. The poem’s meaning while ambiguous suggested heavy abuse from a father figure and a mother who stood by and did nothing. The warm feeling the poem gave off did not match the implications.

Honestly, it hit a little too close to home for Neil. He assumed Andrew was referring to the rumors about his past or his relationship with Riko, but maybe there was something else. Andrew explicitly insisted there had been another reason. Some explanation for why Andrew kept his distance from everyone. That Neil could understand. 

Riko had told him Andrew grew up in various foster care families and claimed the boy was too messed up from that life to earn Riko’s attention. He thought his apathy towards the sport was disgusting and disrespectful. 

Neil knew better and recognized the apathy as a shield. The same way his "I’m fine" kept people from looking too closely, so did Andrew’s exterior. Only the cruel people of the world could turn someone into ice. 

This week their professor asked them to bring in a poem relating to something personal and to work with their partners on a short story. Neil groaned internally and knew Riko would be angry when Neil had to work with their goalie once again. Even though it was a class requirement, Riko still hated it and monitored Neil’s exchanges with Andrew. 

There was so much more he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to make Riko angry. It just wasn't worth the trouble.

He knew his captain was stressed with the season starting and Neil was not stepping into Kevin’s old place as quickly as he wanted. It was all Neil’s fault, according to Riko. He just had to try harder. Maybe then everything would be okay and Riko would loosen his leash. Earlier this week they had already spent countless hours together as Neil worked to make his passes and shots perfection. His captain would accept nothing less and Neil frequently ended those extra sessions with bruises from his teammates racquet. It was fine though, Neil just needed to improve. 

Neil had a short break between class and practice, so he figured he would brainstorm some ideas to text Andrew that night. Neil didn’t know where to even begin with his personal short story. He couldn’t talk about Riko or his father. He was supposed to make everyone believe he lived the perfect life. Being raised by a son of exy, college paid for, and a huge career ahead of him. He doubted Andrew was likely to even read any story related to exy, so he wasn't left with many other options. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and shook him from these thoughts.

[1:35pm] Andrew Minyard: Meet me after practice to compare stories for class. I’m not sending all that over text

[1:36pm] Neil Josten: sure where at?

[1:38pm] Andrew Minyard: The Creamery at 9

[1:39pm] Andrew Minyard: Don’t be late and come alone. I refuse to work with your boy there

[1:40pm] Neil Josten: don’t call him that. just let him come, he won’t bother you 

[1:41pm] Andrew Minyard: It’s up to you if you want your grade to suffer

[1:43pm] Neil Josten: fine, see you at practice

Neil knew Riko would not be pleased at this. He should understand Neil needed to work with Andrew. Just for the class. He would only allow this because each athlete was required to maintain high grades to stay on the team, but it didn’t mean he liked it. Neil working with others put Riko on edge and violently jealous at times. Neil was rarely interested in other people anyways so he didn’t mind but it was quickly becoming very inconvenient. Andrew clearly did not care how his actions would make Riko react and the consequences Neil would face as a result. 

The semester was only a few weeks in and this extra strain on his relationship with Riko was pushing him towards the edge. Maybe he would get the chance to speak with Andrew later about it. Getting Andrew to back off would certainly help.

The only problem was that Neil had always been a little curious about their team’s goalie. His apathy was so apparent through everything. Neil understood how wanting felt at times like it only led to disappointment. Neil rarely got to keep anything he wanted. 

But he blamed Riko for that. 

Neil’s father had been a dedicated member of the Moriyama family’s business. After his parents were killed by an opposing gang, Lord Moriyama sent Neil to live with the second branch. Effectively giving him to Riko as a toy. 

Neil grew up with Riko and Kevin while learning everything he could about exy from them. They wanted him to become their protège. As the sons of exy, they would be the best teachers of the game and ensure his success. 

Everything changed once the older two boys officially joined the Ravens at Edgar Allen. Everyone was obsessed with comparing the two. Who was better? Who would improve more? Who was the better leader? Who would eventually become team captain? Then captain for the US Court?   
As far as Neil had been told, their coach offered the captain spot to whichever striker performed better in a series of drills. Unfortunately for Kevin, he won. 

Both of them so obsessive with the sport they always seemed equal. Kevin had secretly been practicing to use his right hand as well as his left. Making him a little stronger of a threat in comparison to Riko. He finished the supposedly friendly competition with two more points. That was the last time Kevin touched a racquet. 

Neil knew how desperately Riko wanted to be the best. He wanted and wanted so badly he would sacrifice everything for it. Even Kevin. 

Only Kevin and Neil knew his secret though. He only wanted so badly to have acceptance from his father. Neil could understand that at least. Riko truly believed his actions on the court would make his father value him as he did his older brother. He told Neil he was nothing without him. Just an orphan no one would take a second chance on except his family. Sometimes Neil doubted the statement and wondered if Riko would be anything without him, but there was no point in thinking that. He did owe the Moriyama family everything.

After destroying his partnership with Kevin, Riko turned to Neil. He did not have the right to refuse Riko. His family gave Neil everything and owned him in every way. He was Riko’s new partner and punching bag all in one. Even if things with Riko weren’t perfect, he had been watching over Neil for years.

That’s why it’s not so simple, Minyard. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Andrew exchange a few truths as they work on their essays.

Andrew watched Neil walk in and immediately noticed there was something off about him. The way his eyes kept flitting around looking for exits. His head hunched down as if trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. 

He was suspicious of what happened between practice and now to make the other boy act like this. As Neil slide into the booth Andrew noticed he was trying to conceal a wince. 

Andrew didn’t bother asking Neil if he was alright or what had happened. He knew the answer would be boring and predictable so instead he opted for “If you tell me you’re writing about exy, you can leave right now”

“Well I was thinking maybe about the difficulties of starting college or maybe about my uncle’s-“

Andrew quickly cut him off with “no one wants to hear about any of that.”

“I don’t have anything else.”

“You sure about that?” Andrew have Neil a pointed look at the bruising on Neil’s face. He looked like he had tried putting concealer over the old bruise but Andrew could tell it was there. “I’m pretty sure no one hit you there on the court.” 

Neil just countered with “not like you’re going to share anything real either.”

“How about a truth for truth?” Andrew decided this offer would determine if Neil deserved to hear what he had planned to write about. 

“How does that work?”

“We each get to ask questions and have to answer truthfully. If either of us lies then we’re done. You can find someone else to work with.”

“How’s that going to help me with my paper though?”

“Well if I think it’s interesting, don’t you think that means it’s worth writing about?”

“Fine, but we each have the right to pass on questions."

“Alright. My turn first - how can you be with someone who’s abusing you?”

“We’re not. Together I mean.”

This surprised Andrew just a little. Hearing him admit the truth so bluntly. While everyone knew the rumors neither Neil or Riko ever confirmed or denied them. Riko perhaps liked the idea that everyone thought Neil belonged to him and Neil, well was he ever one to share the truth? Even if he had just agreed to it, Andrew was expecting pieces of the truth or vague responses.

“Means you have even less of a reason to hang around him. Why then? Why is it not so simple?"

“Not fair. I already answered.”

“I am simply reworking my original question, so it’s still my turn.”

Neil rolled his eyes at this and Andrew didn’t plan on giving anything up until Neil finally answered. He took a deep breath before slowly explaining, “His family has given me everything. They took me and he’s been by my side since everything happened with my parents. I have no one left and I cannot refuse him.”

Andrew was surprised by how quickly Neil gave the answer. Sure, it still censored out some details but Andrew knew he hadn’t earned the full truth yet. He accepted this and then waited for Neil’s question. 

“What were you planning on writing about?”

“That’s what you’re going to waste a question on? Really?”

“Yes, I want to know if you had anything worth sharing before I continue to trade you for it.”

“I was going to write about what it was like in my last foster home.”

Andrew could tell Neil didn’t expect his open response. Andrew almost never talked about that portion of his life. Neil knew Andrew lived with his twin and cousin in Columbia now, but he assumed Riko had told Neil he grew up in the foster care system. Even Aaron and Nicky barely knew about it but with the way Andrew planned to share his story, the details would be vague but interesting enough he would pass. He was sure the professor would understand the dark tone and why it didn’t need to include any details for “strong creative writing” as his professor normally encouraged.

It made him a little uncomfortable knowing people other than him would read this, but Bee had been encouraging him to use writing as an outlet since he had trouble verbally expressing his feelings to others. Besides the professor made all of the students sign a confidentiality contract at the beginning of the semester so that work wouldn’t be discussed outside of the class setting. Andrew felt it was a safe setting where he could be in control to share his thoughts. 

“That’s already more interesting than anything I could share.”

“Oh Neil, I thought we agreed not to lie to each other.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me then. What about your family? You said you have no one else but I’m sure you didn’t come from no where.”

“My father used to be a close business associate of Riko’s father. He did all the dirty work and created many enemies in the process. Some opposing gang members once attacked me to get at him but he didn’t care. He never cared about me. My mom used it as an excuse to get us out of there but when we were trying to flee, there was a raid. Both of them were killed in the process and I became Riko’s.” 

Neil acted and sounded like Riko owned him. So much more extreme than a jealous boyfriend. Neil sounded like he believed he belonged and was just property now. He didn’t give away any details as he continued to speak but judging by the way he spoke, Neil did not think of himself as a free man.   
Eventually he stopped and goes “My turn. Why do you live with Aaron and Nick now? Your poem from the other week made you seem pretty fond of Cass’s chocolate cake.”

Andrew almost flinched. He hadn’t been expecting Neil to go straight for the throat on these questions. He knew Neil was going to learn eventually if Andrew followed through with his personal narrative. He just wasn’t prepared to verbalize it. 

“Just wasted another. That’s what you’ll learn in my assignment.” He kept his face as bored as possible not wanting to let Neil know how hard he hit with that. 

“Want to share with me what you’ve got so far?”

“I’m not sharing anything with you while you’re still debating if writing about the challenges of morning practice and an 8 am is acceptable.”

“I can’t share anything more than that. Especially not with someone outside the team.”

Andrew knew outsiders often claimed Neil was lucky. So fortunate the sons of exy wanted to tutor him personally in the sport. Every interview Neil had he made sure to tell everyone how wonderful it was working with Riko. Sure, he unapologetically roasted a reporter occasionally but when it came to questions about Riko or his family, Neil was always very careful. He helped paint the idea of Neil Josten, the hand picked boy from no where who would become an exy star. After Kevin’s “accident”, Riko publicly told everyone Neil was Kevin’s replacement and the young striker would soon surpass Day’s skill level. It seemed Neil felt desperate to uphold that image even though it was clear to anyone on the team it was so far from the truth.

“Why do you hold back so much?”

Neil thought for a second before asking “what do you mean?”

“You just let everyone dictate your behavior. You could be so interesting, but he makes you dull.”

“I’m just trying to learn from the past. This is the only thing I can control.”

Andrew wanted to frown at this. He had perfect understanding of what Neil was trying to do. Cause as little trouble as possible and hold on in whatever way he could. Andrew tried this time and time again which only left him empty with small marks permanently adorning his body. He knew Neil had as much grit as him and could teeter on the edge for a while before falling completely. 

Andrew had been lucky in a way. During his short term in juvie, his psychiatrist had been vital to his recovery. Daily therapy sessions helped him cope with his trauma. He still had some triggers and issues but Bee had stood by his side for years now. Even though the drug rehabilitation. She helped him and Aaron find a way to become brothers and even helped him and Nicky find a way to communicate better with their clashing personalities. Honestly, he thought Neil could use a long session with her. 

“I can understand that,” Andrew admitted. “Maybe you should try letting go a little more though. Much more interesting.”

“I can’t just do things to entertain you. Besides you’re one to talk. You never lose control. In all your work, the only thing you’ve sounded remotely excited about is dessert.”

Interesting that Neil called him in control. Usually people only talked about how Andrew was uncontrollable. How he was wild and unpredictable. Neil must be paying very close attention to realize the constant control Andrew had over every situation. How everything was purposeful and intended. That comment keyed Andrew into the fact that while he paid attention to Neil, Neil had been reciprocating.

“Desserts are often worthy of praise. Most other topics are boring.”

“You don’t think I am.”

“I said you could be interesting. I’m still waiting to see how wrong I am.”

“Andrew, same question. Why do you hold back so much?”

“Because the last time I let anything in it almost killed me.”

Andrew had just effectively killed any conversation for a while. Neil kept glancing at him as he procrastinated on his work. Andrew took an ice cream break hoping that the sugar high would help him push through the personal narrative. 

“Staring” he called out to Neil after catching him looking at Andrew yet again. 

“I’m not. I was just distracted.”

“Oh?”

“I know how this might sound but the lighting in here makes your eyes look like a golden honey color.”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Neil seemed transfixed on Andrew’s eyes and Andrew felt himself studying Neil’s face. The dark “3” tattoo on his cheek made his blue eyes seem more prominent in contrast. His other cheek had a few faded scars which seemed to balance out the tattoo in a way. His auburn curls were long now and some fell into his face. Andrew thought Neil left his hair like this on purpose, another way to hide from everyone. 

Andrew didn’t want to tell Neil he failed though because there was no chance he could look away from Neil right now.

Suddenly the spell was broken and Neil’s phone vibrated loudly on the table. Neil checked his phone and instantly looked on the verge of a panic attack. “Fuck” he spat out and quickly began gathering his papers. Andrew tried to ask what happened and Neil threw his phone at him. It read “16 messages from Riko Moriyama” along with 3 missed calls from him. The most recent notification showed a request to share his location with Riko Moriyama. All from just an hour separation. Andrew was beginning to think everyone underestimated how obsessive their captain actually was. 

Neil snatched it back before Andrew could look at any of them but said “he’s expecting me at court. He thinks I need more conditioning to keep up with him.” 

“Are you insane or just stupid? We already practiced for hours today and you still haven’t come up with a topic to write about.”

“I’ll pull an all nighter I just gotta go meet him. Sorry I can’t help you more right now.”

“Relax you’ll get there soon. I’ll give you a ride over.”

“No, no you can’t. That’ll just make it worse.”

Andrew would normally take that to back off in a second. He was never one to push back as soon as someone said that, but Neil was clearly being an idiot and saying no because of Riko. It would take him three times as long to get to court from The Creamery and Andrew was guessing he was hiding an ankle injury. He gave it one more try before he gave up.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re clearly limping and about to go run anyways. Do you even want to be able to walk tomorrow?” 

“I’m fine. Tomorrow, I will be too.”

“You’re being an idiot. You’ll get there faster if I take you anyways.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Andrew drove him over to the court and dropped him off. He wondered if Riko cared that Neil was interacting with other team members or if it was more specifically Andrew that Neil was interacting with. So many of their teammates had a blind loyalty to Riko and never questioned a word he said. Riko never liked Andrew’s apathy to the sport or his “uncontrollable” nature. He attended all mandatory practices but whenever Riko demanded more, he simply denied him. He wasn’t going to give anything up without a fair trade after all. 

Andrew just didn’t understand Neil though. He could tell the striker had a spine. It was clear whenever he called out another teammate or argued with someone in their class. He never held back then and Andrew enjoyed seeing that side of him. As soon as Riko was added to the picture though, Neil became a shell of himself. It was almost unbearable for him to witness sometimes and reminded him a little too much of his response to his foster brother. 

A few hours later, Andrew’s phone buzzed with a text from Neil.

[11:40pm] Neil Josten: Check your email

Andrew opened his campus box and saw he had an email from Neil with the subject line “Interesting enough for you?”. Attached was his personal narrative that began with “You took all my words when all I wanted to do was say them” and he continued to write a scathing review of some unnamed person. To Andrew it was clear who Neil was referring to but like Andrew, he kept the details without too many specifics. His frustration and anxiety were clear throughout the essay. 

He was surprised Neil went this this topic considering just hours ago he claimed this was impossible. Andrew briefly wondered if night practice must’ve been terrible enough to cause this rebellion. 

[11:47pm] Andrew Minyard: Oh Josten, you might be interesting after all

[11:47pm] Andrew Minyard: What changed your mind?

[11:49pm] Neil Josten: something you said earlier. when do I get to see yours?

[11:51pm] Andrew Minyard: Now. Go look

Andrew quickly sent it before losing his nerve. He took the same approach as Neil. He described his bedroom at Cass’s house, which seemed innocent enough until the part about his brother lurking outside. Making the nights impossibly dark as his pleas to just make it stop were continuously ignored. It wasn’t explicit but anyone with half a brain could piece together what happened in that picture perfect house. 

[11:55pm] Neil Josten: i had no idea

[11:55pm] Neil Josten: that was haunting

[11:56pm] Neil Josten: why would you share that with me?

[12:01am] Andrew Minyard: you’re my class partner

[12:02am] Neil Josten: that’s not what i meant 

[12:03am] Andrew Minyard: reword your question then if you don't like the answer

[12:03am] Neil Josten: why bother sharing anything with me? why play the truth game with me?

[12:04am] Andrew Minyard: you won’t tell and it’s a fair trade for everything you’ve shared

Andrew left it at that. He realized over the last few weeks that he did not mind telling Neil any of his secrets. He usually couldn’t stand to share things with anyone. Andrew realized Neil never looked at him any different no matter what pieces he shared. Sometimes he got a look of perfect understanding in return. 

It scared Andrew a little how Neil was starting to actually be able to see him. He knew it didn’t really mean anything and nothing would come from it. He shoved down any feelings of want and closed out of Neil’s essay.

Andrew was beginning to hate Neil for doing this to him. Dredging up any sort of feeling. He thought to himself, oh Josten, you might be more trouble than you're worth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More truths are exchanged and a deal is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some references to non-con made but nothing worse than anything mentioned in the books

All through their extra night practice, Riko kept telling Neil how worthless he was. How he should be thanking Riko for this for helping him improve. Reminding him how he would be nothing without his guidance. He berated him for paying Minyard more attention than to him. For letting his messages go unanswered. 

“Do you think he cares about you? He’s just messing with your head. He wouldn’t stand by your side.” 

Riko kept taunting Neil the entire practice. Saying over and over again how Andrew was apathetic and not worth wasting Neil’s time on. Aside from their necessary communication, Riko said it was such a waste. He said Andrew was a waste. 

Neil could tolerate just about anything Riko said or did to him at this point. He couldn’t find it in himself to care. But for some reason, calling Andrew worthless infuriated Neil. 

After weeks of slowly getting to know him better, Neil admired Andrew’s strength and honesty. He valued learning what Andrew would seem worthy to share or write about. He always looked so apathetic but how could someone so apathetic write such amazing pieces? He felt connected with Andrew in different ways than he had before. 

He defended Andrew against Riko and although it felt like a win, he knew he had made a mistake. Neil had been so careful but he gave Riko something to use against him. He just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

He was tired of holding himself back. It was truly exhausting to make himself into something Riko wanted every second of the day. He had already made up his mind. Riko would kill him if he ever read this but at least it would put an end to this exhausting cycle. Not for the first time, Neil thought Kevin got the better end of the deal. 

He began with writing about how he was held back from everything. He forced Neil to filter his speech and who he interacted with and everything. Even if he owed Riko’s family credit for everything. Maybe this made him ungrateful for it all. Honestly, having nothing seemed a lot better than feeling like a pet. 

He claimed he cared for Neil and only wanted their success, but Neil wasn’t fooled. He watched Kevin go through the same thing. He knew Neil’s success was directly linked to Riko. Maybe Riko did care for Neil in some twisted way but the Moriyamas still has given everything to Neil so whatever his personal opinion might be about Riko, it didn’t matter. 

After sending Andrew his essay, he wondered if his honesty would finally get Andrew to admit he was interesting. The thought excited Neil. Getting the apathetic goalie to finally show an interest. 

Reading Andrew’s essay was disquieting. He guessed that Andrew’s foster brother tormented him in a way different from Riko's usual preferred method. But Neil still felt the dread of someone more powerful preying coming to prey on him. Many of Neil’s nights ended in pain at his own adoptive brother’s hands. Neil would never try to equate their pain but knowing Andrew had similar demons made him feel understood. It made Neil seen for once.   
_________________________________________

The next class they had the professor kept them afterwards. He told the two of them that they were giving him some of the best work in the class and to let him know if either of them wanted to submit anything for the college magazine at the end of the semester. 

Neil was surprised he was doing so well in the class. Outside his math and language classes, Neil usually provided minimal effort to keep his grades afloat. With Riko’s plans for him, Neil knew he’d never be using his real degree. He would be playing until retirement and even after that he was sure the Moriyamas had a plan for him. 

He accepted the praise nonetheless and left with Andrew to head towards the gym. The two of them made some jokes on behalf of their classmates all the way until they started getting dressed for practice. 

Riko arrived and spared Neil a glare before walking over to Andrew. He leaned in not quite close enough to touch Andrew but whispered something so low Neil couldn’t make anything out. He just watched as Andrew’s expression tensed for a second before relaxing into his bored stare. 

Practice was largely uninteresting. Neil was pushing himself as hard as he could on his injured ankle. Andrew surprised him and put actual effort into blocking his shots. Riko even seemed more pleased than normal after today’s practice. He dismissed everyone for the day and said they would have an early film session tomorrow to prepare for their game against Breckenridge that week. 

Neil didn’t bother to talk to Andrew after practice knowing that Riko was watching him. Today was the first day Andrew and Neil had casually walked from their class to court together and Riko was taking it surprisingly well aside from whatever comment he made to Andrew. 

He waited for Riko before they headed back to the dorms on campus. One good thing about being adopted by the Moriyamas was that both Riko and Neil had their own rooms. Riko originally shared with Kevin but he didn’t even want Neil to move in after Kevin’s transfer. He was content knowing where Neil was and that he was isolated in his single. 

Neil asked him what he wanted to grab for dinner but Riko told him not to wait up and that he had official business with a representative of the US Court tonight. Neil realizing he’d be free all evening decided to send Andrew a text. 

[8:30pm] Neil Josten: you busy?

[8:31pm] Andrew Minyard: Aren’t you supposed to be busy with Riko?

[8:33pm] Neil Josten: he’s going to be busy all night with someone from the US Court

[8:34pm] Neil Josten: wanna go for a drive?

[8:34pm] Andrew Minyard: I’m not sure it’s a good idea

Weird. That only made Neil want to see Andrew more. He was the one who had been pushing Neil to go against Riko. Why wouldn’t he support him now?

Not wanting to believe Riko was right about him, Neil tried again. Changing tactics Neil sent off another text.

[8:35pm] Neil Josten: you can drive my car

Neil barely drove it and he knew Andrew had a thing for sports cars. They once talked about what their first major purchases would be after college and Andrew immediately answered a Maserati. Neil’s uncle had gifted him an Aston Martin before starting the year, but Neil couldn’t bring himself to drive the car alone. He figured Andrew wouldn’t be able to resist. 

[8:38pm] Andrew Minyard: Alright fine, only because I feel bad you’ve basically left that car to rot

[8:38pm] Andrew Minyard: That should be a crime you know

Neil just rolled his eyes, grabbed his keys, and told Andrew to meet him in the parking lot. 

He tossed Andrew the keys and they got in without saying a word. Neil wanted to laugh when Andrew had to adjust the seat forward slightly. 

After a few minutes of driving Neil quietly asked, “so whose turn is it in the game?”

“Mine.” 

“Well aren’t you going to ask me anything?”

“Just because it is my turn does not mean I have to take it now.”

“But I have questions.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“Come on Andrew. I’ll give you a bonus round just let me ask something.”

“Fine, go ahead.”

Neil desperately wanted to ask what Riko said to Andrew to make him break his mask, but instead he went with something else that had been bothering him.

“Why did you say this wasn’t a good idea?

“There is no this.”

“You know what I mean. Just going for a drive. I mean it's pretty harmless.”

“For someone who cares an awful lot about Riko, you certainly don’t seem to care how much you upset him.”

“I do care. He knows we have to work together and he’s busy all night anyways.” 

“You know that won’t matter to him.”

“Since when do you care?”

“I don’t. I just don’t want to have to deal with him and his attitude.”

“I’ll deal with him. He won’t bother you.”

“Yeah because you do such a great job of that on your own.”

“I’m doing everything I can.”

Andrew pulled into a diner parking lot and didn’t say another word until they got inside. Andrew was keeping himself as far away from Neil as he could without making the distance obvious. It was only obvious to Neil because he had been growing used to Andrew entering his space. Even if it was only leaning in to make a comment about a classmate or brushing by each other in the locker room. His hesitancy about everything this evening made Neil think something was bothering Andrew.

Neil followed after him wondering if what Riko said had been related to him to get such a reaction from the goalie. They sat in a booth before ordering – chocolate chip pancakes for Andrew and a fruit salad for Neil. Andrew rolled his eyes at Neil’s order and then studied him. Once he looked like he made up his mine he said, “Neil, I’m taking my turn now.”

“Alright, go on.”

“Have you ever been with Riko?”

“You’ve seen me with him all the time.”

“No, no not like that. Like had a sexual relationship.”

Neil sucked in a deep breath. He wanted to pass on this, but Neil just wanted whatever Andrew’s tension was to go away. Experiencing tension between them like this made Neil uneasy. 

“It’s complicated.” 

“No Neil, I think the question is only a yes or a no.”

“Not consensually then.”

Andrew subtly tried to move even farther away from Neil. After reading his story, Andrew’s reaction made sense to Neil. Whatever Riko said to him clearly brought up some memories of Andrew’s foster brother and it was clear he wasn’t trying to make Neil feel uncomfortable. 

Neil felt Andrew shutting down and quickly explained, “hey, it wasn’t anything like your situation. It only happened once and Riko hasn’t crossed that line since.”

Andrew just gave Neil a look and he careful continued with, “Riko, Kevin, and I stole some liquor from Riko’s uncle. We all decided to get trashed in celebration for the two of them signing their contracts to Edgar Allen. I drank too much, passed out, and woke up with Riko on top of me. I was still too out of it to even realize most of my clothes were off or what he was doing. When I woke up the next day, I had bruises everywhere, but we never talked about it. It’s also why I don’t drink with the team anymore.”

Andrew still didn’t say anything and wasn’t even looking at Neil, which made him feel sicker than revealing that truth. Neil knew if he didn’t fix this now he would never feel Andrew’s grounding presence again. Neil realized days ago that having Andrew around made Riko much more tolerable. Like he had someone else he could turn to.

In a quiet voice Neil said, “I’m not afraid of you, Andrew. I understand if you don’t want to, but I don’t think I would mind if you touched me.”

This statement grabbed Andrew’s attention. His eyes met Neil’s for the first time that night and he simply asked, “touch you how?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Don’t consent without knowing what you’re agreeing to.”

“Andrew, I trust you. I know you won’t cross a line and if I’m uncomfortable, I know you’ll stop if I say so. It feels safe.”

“Ha. I’m sure anything would compared to him.”

“No, it’s different with you. I can’t explain it, but I just don’t mind when it’s you.”

“Alright then” and Neil watched as Andrew slowly shifted closer to Neil. He reached out almost touching Neil’s hand “yes or no?”

“Yes” and Andrew lightly touched his fingertips to the back of Neil’s hand. Neil decided it was time to ask, “what did he say to you earlier?”

“You do really love wasting your questions don’t you.”

“Just tell me. I can guess but I need to know.”

“He said, ‘Like what you see, Minyard? You’d love how he looks in bed. All tousled and helpless. Too bad though, he’s mine.’”

Neil cringed at that. He knew Riko owned him. His father was a Wesninski after all. By all rights, if Neil had children, they would belong to the Moriyamas too. 

But he still wasn’t completely Riko’s. Not in that way. Even if Riko had tried to claim him once, that bit was still Neil’s decision. Neil knew Riko had casual partners but Neil hoped it wasn’t because he was expecting Neil to come around.

“Andrew, that’s not. He’s not-“ Neil struggled to find the words. “I have no interest in him and we’re not together. I owe his family everything and that’s the only reason I stick by him.”

Andrew kept his fingertips on Neil’s hand and gazed at Neil with great intensity. Neither one of them spoke for a while before Andrew said, “If he tries anything like that again I’ll handle him.”

“What are you offering?”

“I’m offering you protection against him. I can’t begin to understand why you let him destroy you but I can’t be around you if you let him walk all over you without help.”

“What do you want in return?” Neil knew the importance of a fair trade to Andrew.

“No running. I can tell when you get panicked its the first thing you think of, but if you stick with me to graduation, I'll stop Riko from ever doing that to you again.”

“Alright, deal.” 

Neil found himself wanting to stick by Andrew’s side until graduation anyways. It hardly seemed like a fair trade to Neil, but with Andrew setting the terms he just accepted. 

Riko definitely wouldn’t be pleased with Andrew at Neil’s side more often, but Neil knew how to placate him. Having Andrew by his side made him feel stronger already. For the first time in years, Neil felt steady.


	5. Chapter 5

Days went by and Andrew and Neil found themselves hanging out more and more. Neil continued to seek Andrew’s company and gave Riko a plethora of excuses all relating to their school work. 

Andrew had even slipped Neil the extra key to his apartment making it easier for him to come and go. He was extra careful to hide this from Riko. 

Neil promised Riko extra night practices, meals, and study sessions to make up for escaping to hang out with Andrew for a few hours. It probably would’ve bothered most people but Andrew knew every time Neil sought him out it was an act of rebellion. 

The two exchanged countless truths, cigarettes, and stories as time went on. Neither one of them admitted that this meant something. To be finally understood so well but Andrew knew he had been lying to himself for weeks now. Even their latest works for class showed signs of a change between them. Andrew's newest prose began, "I am not scared of the monsters hidden beneath my bed. I am much more scared of the boy with messy auburn hair, sleepy eyes, & mouth's that only form half-truths." Neil's piece simply stated, "'He is nothing but trouble.' 'Trouble, yes he nodded. But not nothing, not nothing." Neither one of them admitted it verbally, but they could both see the truth between them. 

Everything was going fine until their game against Maryland. That’s when everything slowly started to go downhill. 

While Neil had been appeasing Riko’s every wish in exchange for more “study time” with Andrew, he had also been careful to only act as a supporting striker. He only took shots when it was obvious he was avoiding it. In the game from last week Neil broke the school record for assists in a game, which was a surprise to everyone. Riko, getting the glory for scoring, didn’t appear bothered to anyone else by this, but he made Neil’s life hell at night practice. 

He had been constantly worn out and berated. The captain said it was embarrassing for a true striker’s best statistic to come from his passing. Neil didn’t think he had much of a choice though. Riko calmed down in the week leading up to the next game, but Neil thought he was still on edge. The Ravens should win the game easy and Neil just wanted to focus on doing well enough for Riko but not too well. 

As the two strongest strikers on the team, Neil and Riko played more than the rest of the subs. The team did rely heavily upon both of them to score since the subs didn’t see much time in close games. About 20 minutes left in the first half, a backliner slammed into Riko so hard the boy didn’t immediately get up. Neil waved his racquet to call the referees attention over to Riko. He was still unconscious on the ground and the athletic trainers came running out. After a few minutes, he came through but was still groggy. They escorted Riko off the court and announced he would not return for the remainder of the game. They sent someone on for a sub and gave Neil the ball for the penalty shot. 

Neil didn’t like earning these easy points as much but still made the shot. The game continued being neck and neck since Neil was careful as to not outshine Riko. 

At half time, the score was the closest point gap the Ravens experienced in years. They were only up by 1. Their coach gave them some motivational speech but called Neil aside before going back on the court to warm up. 

“Look, I know you must be upset with Riko’s injury but he’d be even more upset if the team lost. Do him a favor and get us the win okay?” 

Neil just looked back at him. Honestly, Neil wasn’t sure a win was better in this situation. Maybe Riko preferred the team being unable to win without him. 

Neil, the junkie he is, could not just hold back and let them lose. He went all out when he was in the second half. Working with the less skilled strikers put more pressure on Neil to use his speed and accuracy to create scoring opportunities for himself. Andrew even seemed to realize Neil’s struggle and slammed every blocked shot to where only Neil would be fast enough to grab it. 

The game was still close but when Neil netted another goal with only 2 minutes left. The point gap was enough to ensure their win. 

After shaking hands the teams walked off. The coach told Neil that Riko was in the hospital finished getting checked out and was waiting for Neil to pick him up. 

He walked over to Andrew and asked if he would be around after he picked up Riko. Andrew picked up his phone and quickly waved it in Neil’s direction. He understood the very clear message. If you need me, I’ll be around. 

Probably for the best anyways if Riko was going to be upset. Neil could placate him while Andrew was busy. 

He picked Riko up from the hospital and despite losing consciousness, Riko would be fine to play the next game. Neil felt instant relief he wouldn’t have to stay in the spotlight any longer. He did his job in keeping the Ravens perfect. Even all of his post game interviews, he gave all credit to Riko. The extra training, conditioning, really anything possible. 

Riko taunted him with a “look who wants to play hero now” and didn’t say much else. Neil worried a little how Riko would react but knew he wasn’t in condition to terrorize him tonight. He just focused on playing the faithful servant. 

Neil offered a “Johnson and Nick were really weak tonight. We need to bring them to night practice more.” 

“I’m doubtful that would help them much. There’s a reason they’re not Perfect Court material.” 

“Still, I’m not sure they’re strong enough to help me through another game if something happens to you.” 

“Don’t fucking lie to me. I know you enjoyed it tonight.” 

“I just didn’t want to let you down. I gave you my game a long time ago. It would have been an embarrassment to you if I played less than I had tonight."

“At least you still know your place. Don’t forget who gave you everything. Including your game.” 

Neil didn’t look him in the eye and just quietly said, “of course. I owe your family everything.” It was slowly breaking Neil inside. This trapped feeling where he felt he had a duty to repay their family but knew their demands were choking him. It helped a little knowing Andrew had his back but there was no way he would sacrifice him to the Moriyamas. Neil would endure as much as he could before he snapped. 

Riko continued on with his whole “you would be worthless without me” speech. Neil had heard these insults so many times it only bothered him now he was starting to think he could be more without Riko. The speech took a new turn when Riko brought Andrew into the mix. 

“It disgusts me you’ve been spending time with the only other worthless player on the team. How can you lower yourself to someone like that?” Neil only glanced up at him as Riko continued “You know when Kevin was recruiting him we had to look into his last pretty heavily. You want to spend time with someone who had such an incestuous relationship with his own brother? It’s so hard for me to watch you associate with such trash.”   
It took every ounce of self-restraint for Neil to not take a swing at him. “Leave him out of this. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides it’s just for class. You know this.” 

“Is it Neil? Don’t underestimate my family.” 

He heard the warning in Riko’s words and didn’t respond. It seemed like he had to distance himself from Andrew a little. There was no telling what Riko would do to retaliate if he thought Neil was betraying him. 

He sent a quick text to Andrew hoping he would hear his warning. 

[9:45pm] Neil Josten: I won’t be able to meet on Sunday for the assignment discussion. I’ve got some family things to take care of this weekend. See you in class 

Meaning: don’t contact me, Riko is watching. 

He didn’t receive a response and just focused on helping Riko. 

He fell asleep an hour later and Neil reflected on their relationship. When they were younger it had just been so different. He and Kevin always acted like big brothers to Neil. They were so excited to teach him and talked about playing together in college and the national team one day. They dreamed of World Championships and the Olympics. 

Riko had even confided in Neil when they were younger about his insecurities over his father. How he just didn’t want to let his father down. As a second born son, Riko had been shipped off to stay with his uncle Tetsuji and hadn’t seen his father or older brother since infancy. He only heard from them on his birthday and even that was barely acknowledged. 

Neil understood Riko in that way how Kevin never could. Neil’s own father remained a fixture in his nightmares years later. He served as Lord Moriyama’s right hand man, which involved doing the dirty work for him. Neil’s earliest memories involved hiding from him and when he failed, earning new scars from one of his knives. When Neil grew older, his father showed a brief interest in training him for the family business. Neil failed though when he refused to kill his pet cat for practice. After that just being in his father’s line of sight caused his temper to flare. He either verbally abused Neil or carved more marks into him. His mother had never even raised a hand to try and stop it. He had broken her long ago. She tried to run at the end but Neil refused to try and think about that night. She made the mistake that allowed a rival gang to execute them. 

Honestly, he would trade places with Riko’s in a second. Being neglected by his father would’ve been a blessing. 

Neil wished sometimes he had a parent as great has Kaleigh Day. Kevin always sounded so fond of her. 

He really did want Riko to win his father’s approval. If Neil playing well helped Riko in that then he really didn’t mind. They’d been together through a lot, but at the end of the day Riko had changed. Neil wasn’t really sure when. He just knew thay instead of insecure and determined, he had become condescending and vicious. 

Neil may still owe the Moriyamas for everything, but with each day it was harder to stand by Riko’s side. 

With Andrew watching his back, Neil no longer had to fear Riko’s violent rage. The Moriyamas may still own him, but he was slowly starting to rekindle his fighting spirit.


	6. Chapter 6

Following Riko’s injury, the news quickly shifted. Instead of reporters talking about Neil’s stand out game, they focused on the Raven’s captain. Fans were going wild. 

They had already lost one son of exy. They couldn’t stand the idea of losing both. Kevin Day could still not be found for comment. 

After a few days rest, Riko had a press conference assuring everyone he would be back and better than ever. He told everyone he was just a little bruised and would be back in action for the coming game. He also made a comment to the fans about appreciating their loyalty but said they didn’t need to blame the backliner for the injury. He said it was just part of the game and he would repay the favor himself the next time they met on the court. 

Apparently, a bunch of fanatics had destroyed the cars of the other team along with trashing the outside of their stadium. Riko, one of the most well known exy athletes, had surely attracted the affection and care of so many people but still lacked any attention from the one person he craved it from. 

Neil thought this probably drove Riko crazy. There wasn’t much more the captain could even do to gain popularity. Everyone knew how good he was and very few met the cruel Riko that Neil knew. 

Training up to the next game, Neil had barely spent much time with Andrew. Trying to be very careful to keep Riko placated meant avoiding the goalie outside of class and practice. The only texts they exchanged were just comments about each other’s work for class. Without even needing to speak, Neil was aware Andrew was paying close attention to look for new injuries or a sign anything was wrong. It kept him calm even when he wanted to worry about how Riko felt. 

Leading up to the game, the striker pair spent hours watching game film and going over new drills. Riko had come up with a new drill and he wanted them to work out any issues before presenting it to the team. They were so busy training and surprisingly, Riko had little to say about Neil’s abilities. He finally seemed satisfied and no longer called Neil an embarrassment. 

Maybe last week had made Riko felt cared for and adored. Maybe this was a sign he was learning to be content with what he had. 

This week the team was playing University of Texas and after having a close game the week before, the whole team put in extra hours. Riko demanded perfection from them. He said it was obvious the team relied too much on him and he needed everyone to step up. Neil saw through Riko's lies and could tell the captain enjoyed seeing the team weak without him.

The only problem was that Neil had been the one to step up. If the whole team had contributed, Riko might have overlooked this. Neil knew some of his teammates where betting on when Neil would start to outscore Riko. After seeing him perform last week, people were slowly starting to realize he had been holding back. He tried to blame it on the extra stress of last game or that he just got lucky, but it didn't seem like anyone was buying it. The team was also particularly interested in the way Neil and Andrew had worked so well together last game. The two seemed to have such a symbiotic relationship in that Neil kept the ball away from Andrew's end making it easier for him while Andrew returned the favor and served balls back down the court that only Neil had the speed to reach. The goalie certainly hadn't done Riko any favors like that. 

The Ravens were home which Neil was thankful for. Not wanting to have to fly or stay overnight anywhere else. Neil arrived at the stadium early and started to mentally prepare for the game. Once it was time to go warm up, the stands were already rapidly filling and Neil noticed several signs for him. More than in the past. He wanted to tense at this. Wanted to make it obvious last week was a fluke, but knew playing poorly would only enrage Riko more.

The game went well. Riko was the leading scorer and received the most credit for their big win. Neil hated himself for it, but he had overturned the ball a few times once the Ravens were safely up so that he would not have to shoot. He scored a few times early on, but let Riko control the offense after that.

"Riko and Josten you're on press duty tonight. Josten you better not mouth off to those reporters again."

"Oh don't worry coach, Neil knows his place."

The two walked over and Neil knew he probably should not and would not speak much in these interviews. They asked the same basic questions at first: what do you think about the game? Is there anything you can learn from here? How do you see the team moving forward?

Easy. Nothing problematic.

Finally it was almost over. One quick last question for Riko demanded a reporter, "Will you be attending next week's Midseason Banquet? We have reports that say Kengo Moriyama was taken to the hospital hours ago and is in the critical care unit."

Neil saw Riko stiffen at this. He clearly had no idea Lord Moriyama's health was failing. He looked too stunned to speak so Neil answered for him, "Do you really think that's any of your concern? These are just supposed to be exy related questions not a gossip service. Surely Riko's father is in good hands and he won't have anything to worry about."

Neil's words seemed to draw Riko out of his thoughts. He agreed with Neil's statement and said, "My place right now is on the court. My presence will not help heal my father, which is the only thing that matters now. I am a dedicated captain and if those physicians know anything, then my father will recover soon."

At this, both of the boys walked off. Neil knew Riko wouldn't thank him for telling the reporters to back off but he was glad they finished the interview quickly after that. Neil knew Andrew had been standing near enough to hear the interview and would be watching for their reactions.

Immediately after entering the locker room, Riko made a grab for Neil. He slammed him against the lockers and snarled "Do not dare speak on my behalf. You are still nothing. I can teach you another lesson to help you remember that."

Suddenly, Andrew appeared and pulled Riko off Neil and pulled out a small knife. "Do not touch my things Riko. I don't like to share." 

"You both know who he belongs to. I'd back off if I were you, Minyard."

Andrew didn't even respond and just stared until Riko slowly walked away and into the coach's office. Neil hurried to grab his things and chance. Wanting to be as far away from the captain as possible after such news. 

Andrew drove them over to his apartment and locked the door behind them. He watched Neil sit on the coach and shake slightly. He was waiting for him to calm down but Neil's breathing quickened. 

"Breath Neil" and Andrew watched for signs of Neil relaxing but it did not even seem like Neil had heard him. He kept repeating his name until deciding be would use one of Bee's tricks. He placed his hand on the back of Neil's neck in a firm weight. A grounding weight. It was supposed to anchor Neil back to reality and out of his head.

It worked. Neil looked up at Andrew and slowly began to relax. 

"I won't let him touch you. Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

"Then relax, nothing to worry about."

"But what about you? Who's watching your back?"

Andrew didn't respond. The silence should tell Neil no one besides Andrew was. 

"Don't tell me its you because I know you take shit care of yourself, Andrew. I know you'll tell me you don't need anyone's protection but you have mine anyways. I won't let them destroy you over me."

"I hate you."

"It's fine if you do."

The boys stared at each other a while longer before Andrew broke it with, "yes or no?"

"Yes"

Andrew knew Neil placed all of his trust in him. He slowly leaned in and pulled Neil closer by his collar and kissed him. He could tell it took Neil a second to respond but he answered with such enthusiasm that Andrew deepened the kiss. Eventually, Andrew broke it off and pulled himself back from Neil.

He was annoyed at himself for kissing Neil right after his panic attack but Neil had said yes. He just could not stand the idea of someone wanting to look after him. Andrew was so used to protecting Nicky and Aaron and now Neil that the first time someone wanted to return the favors was too much. He had tried to keep himself from wanting but it was getting too hard to lie to himself. Neil made him feel like he was falling. 

Looking back he saw the flash of desire in Neil's eyes. His lips slightly swollen from the kiss. Andrew waited to feel disgust but instead only felt desire. For the first time in a while, Andrew wanted more. Maybe it could be different with Neil. They understood each other and treated each other with respect. He had respected Andrew and his rules and had not even touched Andrew by accident during that kiss. Just maybe, he and Neil could make it work.

What was it Neil had said in one of his most recent poems? "Not nothing". This was definitely not nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Neil and Andrew lasted in this peaceful bubble up until two days before the Midseason Banquet. All exy teams in their division were required to attend and usually lasted two days. 

Unfortunately, the team hosting this year was the University of South Carolina. This meant the team would most likely have to stay overnight. This meant Neil was going to have a tough time escaping Riko. 

Their teammates began to notice the shift in dynamics slowly as Neil went to Andrew's side instead of Riko's. Neil still attended night practices with Riko but always brought one of the other strikers with him. He was very careful to not be caught alone with Riko and Andrew watched him closely.   
Neil felt as safe as he could while Riko was tense with his father's sickness. He would likely be the last person in the Moriyama family informed of any updates and there was a greater than likely chance he would hear it in an interview again. Not from his brother or mother. 

Neil was busy with school work and preparing to leave for the weekend when he received a text from Andrew. 

[8:23pm] Andrew Minyard: My apartment now. We need to talk 

Neil sent him a reply and was on his way in seconds. 

He let himself into the apartment using the key Andrew gave him. 

He emerged from his bedroom looking more pale than normal. Neil knew something was really wrong instantly. He kept his distance from Andrew and waited for him to continue. 

"The story I wrote about him. They were building a case against him but he’s gone." 

Neil guessed there was only one person that could cause someone so sturdy as Andrew to look shaken. He didn’t need Andrew to explain more than that. He wouldn’t try to tell Andrew it would be fine. 

"You have your knives and I won’t let him touch you again." 

"You’re not playing the martyr here too Josten. Besides, it’s not me I’m worried about." 

"Nicky and Aaron?" 

Andrew just gave a slight node. 

"Have you talked to them? We can invite them to come for the banquet. We're allowed to bring guests anyways." 

Neil guessed having his family nearby would make Andrew feel more in control. If they were here, Andrew could protect them. That was a promise of safety and Andrew was a man of his word. 

After a few minutes on the phone, both Aaron and Nicky we’re attending the banquet. Nicky was just excited to hear from Andrew and still lived in the area. Aaron was in a pre-med program at a school in South Carolina. His twin had taken a little convincing but he caved after Andrew promised him lots of free drinks at the event. 

Neil was excited to meet Andrew's family and was glad their presence would comfort Andrew. With Riko looking seconds away from snapping, the boys already had enough to worry about. Neil would keep his promise to watch Andrew's back as he watched over Neil and his family.   
At the banquet, Neil should've noticed something was off. He thought Riko had been learning to be content with what he had or busy worrying about his family but instead it seemed that Riko had been plotting. 

Nicky and Aaron met up with them at USC. The four of them tried to stay away from Riko and Neil was aware Andrew had most likely not warned either of them about his foster brother's disappearance or Riko's temper. His guess was confirmed when Aaron and Nicky started downing their drinks. 

Riko came over to ask Neil if he would come meet a member of the ERC. He was supposedly responsible for selecting members for the US Court, which Riko was already a part of. They went over and chatted for a while and Neil knew Andrew's eyes were on him the whole time. 

Neil tried to stay polite but he didn't want to be too far away from the cousins for long. Not with everything going on, but it was the US Court after all. Riko would actually kill Neil if he screwed this up. Riko, Neil, and the ERC representatives present grabbed another drink and some food before settling into an even longer debate about international rival teams. The sport was rapidly growing outside its founding areas and Riko spoke with pride about his uncle's role in it. Neil was interested in how he carefully left out Kayleigh Day's name and her son. 

A while later Neil slipped back to Andrew. His head was beginning to pound with how loud it was. Neil hated seeing an exy court be made into a banquet hall and the stadium's walls only helped the noise from the party echo. 

Nicky was the only one interested in socializing and asked Neil constant questions about his life. He made several comments about finding Neil attractive before eventually catching on to the twin's glares. Aaron barely spoke to Neil and kept a bored look on his face the whole time. He drank the host provider beverages and added a few sarcastic comments here and there. Andrew also kept quiet, but Neil knew he was on the alert. This meant that Neil was left to chat with Nicky as he went on about his job search for a new position in Germany.

Nicky's phone ringing seemed to startle them all. He squealed, "Erik! I gotta take this. Be right back." 

Nicky had just finished telling Neil how much he missed his German boyfriend and was planning to visit him in a few weeks. Aaron seemed uncomfortable with hearing Nicky talk about his boyfriend but held his tongue from saying anything truly offense to his cousin. Neil was interested in the fact that Aaron and Andrew barely talked or acknowledged each other at all. They shared some similarities but Neil couldn't understand what their unknown tension was about. 

They sat in silence for a while until Neil checked the time. 30 minutes had already passed since Nicky left. Neil felt instantly more anxious. He supposed Nicky could still be talking to Erik, but Neil wanted to assume the worst. 

"Hey, how long does Nicky normally stay on the phone with Erik? 

Aaron surprised him by answering, "hours usually." 

Andrew seemed to understand his thought process and told Aaron they had to go find him. Aaron protested, not wanting to give up their table, but Andrew gave him a look and the three of them went to look for Nicky. They weaved around tables but Neil's coach ran into them and called him over.

"Josten, I heard you talked to Cory from the ERC. How'd it go?" 

"Now's not a really good time coach. I'll be right back." 

"Nonsense, what could be more important than discussing the US Court?" 

After a few more protests, Neil realized he wasn't getting out of this easy. He turned to Andrew and in German said, "You guys keep looking. I have my phone on and will be safe staying with coach." 

They left Neil to continue speaking with his coach and a few of their teammates. He kept a watchful eye and spotted Riko a few tables away. This did make Neil feel a little better that he had eyes on Riko at least but knew that the captain had means to get others to perform his dirty work.

Neil started to feel dizzy. He grabbed a glass of water and thought maybe he was just dehydrated. Trying to shake it off with small sips of water. He tried to keep talking to his coach and eventually just said he wasn't feeling well. He excused himself and went to their team's designated table where a few of them still sat. 

He felt so awful he did not notice hands pulling him up. Someone was leading him away from the table but Neil was so weak at this point he didn’t even know who. Walking was difficult enough and he could barely keep his eyes open.

The person revealed himself by his voice and said "you know Neil, I’ve watched you for weeks now and I do have to admire your loyalty. It is astounding how quickly you changed sides. I know you’ve been picking him over me. I think you both need a little reminding of who you belong to though". 

Riko.

Neil managed to get out a quick "I know Riko. I belong to the Moriyamas." 

Andrew. Neil needed to find Andrew. But Neil couldn't even reach for his phone let alone call for help. 

Riko shoved Neil in his car and drove them to a nearby hotel. Neil was fairly certain he even fell asleep in the car. He couldn't remember anything and was so confused when they appeared in a hotel room. 

"Oh Neil, I think you’ve been forgetting lately. Don’t worry. I found just the right person who would help enlighten both you and Andrew."   
Neil’s stomach dropped and he had an idea of what was coming. 

"Maybe you know him? He’s Andrew’s favorite foster brother you know. He really wanted the chance to meet Aaron, but I told him he could settle for you instead." 

Neil felt sick. At least the cousins would all be safe. The irony of Andrew telling him he wouldn’t play the martyr this time haunted him. 

Neil was barely being able to stand and felt dread when looking at the dark haired man who was waiting in the room for them. 

"You haven’t seen to have learned your lessons from my hands lately so I’m giving someone else a try. Neil, say hello to Drake. I told him not to worry about being gentle with you. I doubt the monster is with you anyways. See you in the morning. This is your time to reflect on who you belong to Neil." 

He dropped Neil to the floor and said, “Don’t forget to tell Andrew how well I can share my things.”

And with that Riko left and locked Neil in with Andrew’s nightmare. 

"Should be give AJ a call for old times sake? Maybe he will even want to join? Wouldn’t that be fun." 

Neil was so weak at this point he just managed "leave him out of this." Neil desperately wanted Andrew as far from here as possible.

"Oh no, Neil. Riko said I can think him for our reunion. I came all this way." 

Drake pulled Neil towards his bed and grabbed his phone. The call rang for one beat before it was picked up "Neil?" 

Andrew sounded desperate. The most emotion Neil could remember hearing from him. Hearing his voice sparked something in Neil. 

"Oh AJ, I just met a friend of yours." 

The line was silent. Neil thought maybe he even hung up but he was surprised to hear "Don't you dare touch him." 

"You'll have to say it AJ." 

Andrew's voice seemed to break over the next word, "please." 

Cruel, so cruel Neil thought. No wonder Andrew had written a whole essay about how this was the worst word in existence. Drake clearly had no intention of stopping. The please was meaningless and going to be ignored. 

So cruel to offer some sort of hope out there. Neil was living Andrew's nightmares. 

He felt Drake's hands on him but Neil was still struggling. He would not let Andrew find him like this. He would not make him relive his pain. 

Hearing Andrew's voice cleared his mind. It allowed him to push through the haze he was experiencing. Andrew slipped him something earlier if trouble came up. Neil just had to reach his pocket. 

After pushing and clawing at the man, Neil grabbed the small switch blade in his pocket. 

"If you don't get off me and leave I will kill you." It came out so weak. Neil just needed to hold on a little longer. 

"I'll leave once I have my reunion with AJ." 

Neil was raging. He was becoming more alert with the adrenaline pumping through him. He managed to maneuver enough space to kick Drake in the stomach. He responded by throwing Neil against the wall. 

Stars exploded in his vision, but he had enough time to pull the blade from his pocket. 

He was his father's son after all. Blades would not fail him now. 

"You know I always liked it when AJ put up a fight. This might work instead." 

He advanced on Neil and Neil fought him off as best he could. 

A body slumped over. And everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this chapter. Next one will be out soon


	8. Chapter 8

AJ. Hearing that after all this time haunted Andrew. 

He guessed that Riko had something to do with Drake going missing in the middle of the investigation on him, but Andrew was always good at lying to himself. He didn't want to believe Riko's reach extended that far. That he was that sadistic. 

Andrew punched the wall he had been leaning on and blood trickled down his knuckles. The phone call had unraveled him quickly. He was rapidly losing control. He wanted to laugh at the irony of Neil wanting to see him out of control. Not like this. 

He pieced himself back together. He had to get to Neil. That was all that mattered now. 

Andrew couldn't even remember the rest of the phone call. He had many nightmares about Drake and unwanted hands all over him, but Drake with Neil, Aaron, or Nicky was by far worse. 

He was supposed to protect them.

It was a punch to the gut finding Nicky completely unharmed and busy talking to Erik while learning moments later Neil had been seen leaving with Riko. No one said it, but everyone knew it was not by choice. 

Andrew wanted to blame Nicky for it but he knew was all his fault.

Andrew hated himself. How could he have left Neil behind? How could Neil be so stupid to let this happen to him? Something else must be wrong if Neil wasn't fighting back. Andrew forced him to take the small blade just in case but had he not used it? Or worse had he and Drake managed to use it against him? 

Andrew cursed his imagination. Bringing on countless new scenarios about how Riko would tell Drake to harm Neil. 

Andrew felt his broken promise sharply imagining all that Riko or Drake could have done to Neil by now. 

It should be me, he thought. I wish it were me. 

Ha, and he called Neil a martyr. 

Andrew recalled Neil writing "he wishes he knew how to break me" in one of his earlier pieces. Andrew desperately hoped this wouldn't break him. The thought of losing Neil was too much. 

He was supposed to be nothing. But Andrew's rage indicated Neil was definitely not nothing. 

He was everything. And suffering because Andrew had been so stupid to try and pull Neil away from Riko. He knew Neil would be no better off without his involvement but perhaps he could have saved him this trauma. Andrew felt sick. 

He had to find Neil. He guessed Riko wasn't smart enough to take Neil to a different hotel. It was the closest one to the school, which also made it easy to transport Neil here. He probably had gotten a room using his personal funds and placed it in Drake's name to draw away any attention from the team. 

It was a start at least. 

He asked Nicky and Aaron to stay in his locked hotel room in the meantime. Not wanting to risk anymore surprises. He explained to them briefly that someone was trying to hurt the teammate they met earlier and told them to stay safe. 

Andrew grabbed all of his knives and prepared for the worst. He just had to get to Neil. He would do whatever he could. No one likes a martyr, and no one ever guessed Andrew included himself in that statement. He was so much worse than Neil. 

He just needed Neil to be okay. 

He had correctly guessed Neil was in the same hotel and probably located in the room for one Mr. Drake Spear. He managed to convince the staff he was Drake's friend who wanted to surprise him with a visit. After intimidating the front staff worker into getting a key and room number, Andrew was on his way. 

The promise of violence calmed Andrew as he walked to face his nightmare one final time. 

Andrew idly wondered if Riko wanted Drake to get caught by Andrew. Knowing how this would cause him pain. It was no secret Andrew hated being touched and Riko had the resources to look into Andrew's past. This punishment was as much for Andrew as it was for Neil. 

Shoving down all signs of panic, he burst in the room. 

He was not prepared for what he saw. 

Drake was on top of Neil's body. Both not moving. 

A pool of blood surrounded them and Andrew almost threw up. 

He forced himself to go over to Neil's side and felt his neck for a pulse. He was surprised to find a weak heartbeat fluttering below his fingertips. 

"Neil. Wake up. Come on. Don't do this to me." 

No response. 

"Wake up Neil" 

Still nothing. 

"I can't go back to nothing. Don't do this to me." Andrew heard his voice cracking in desperation but he didn't care. He just needed a reaction from the other boy. Anything at all. 

Andrew pulled his hand off of Neil and turned away. Needing a second to figure out the next step. A tear leaked down Andrew's face at the horrible scene behind him. 

"An-Andrew?" 

He whipped around thinking he had imagined it but saw Neil's eyes barely open. 

"Riko drugged me I think. He's dead but I-I'm fine- I" He trailed off and was fighting to gain consciousness. Andrew didn't know if Neil was injured or hurt. Panic was racing through him. 

"I'm calling Aaron. Hang on Neil don't pass out on me." 

"Andrew I'm sorry -" 

"Shut up and stay awake." 

He pushed Drake off Neil and covered his body with a blanked. Neither one of them should have to look at the abuser again. He grasped Neil's hand and dialed Aaron's number with the other. He asked Aaron and Nicky to grab the car and meet them in the lobby. He warned Aaron he better be ready to put his pre-med training to use in looking after Neil because they were going straight to their house in Columbia. 

He carried Neil down to the lobby and got him into the car. Content to let Nicky drive them for once as he sat in the backseat with Neil. Neil's head was in his lap and he whispered, "thank you, you were amazing" before passing out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil begins plotting to take down Riko.

"We have to take him to the hospital-"

"Aaron, you should know better than anyone they will only take one look at him and tell him to rest."

"I don't know I think I'm with Aaron on this one. He looks like he's in bad shape."

"No one else touches him. We will ask him when he gets up."

"But Andrew-"

"No, he's not bleeding anywhere. He's not in danger, we wait for him."

Neil was vaguely aware of the arguing coming from outside the door. He was laying in someone's bed. The bedroom looked neat, with no pictures, just a filled bookshelf and a sweatshirt thrown lazily on the desk.

He felt too dizzy to get up so he waited in bed longer. He knew no one was likely to bother him by the sound of Andrew's demands.

Neil assessed his injuries and guessed that the bruised ribs were the worst of it. He couldn't remember much of what had happened. He remembered Drake calling Andrew and somehow Neil had ended up stabbing Drake in the struggle.

Neil was always his father's son in a way. Blades would never fail them.

Slowly, he eased out of bed and cracked the door open. He was hoping Andrew would notice his silent invitation to come in. He wasn't quite ready to deal with Nicky's chatter and concern. He guessed Andrew had most likely cleaned him up and looked for major injuries last night. He should have been shaken by hands touching him while he was passed out, but the knowledge that Andrew had been with him the whole time was comforting instead.

Not too much longer, Andrew silently walked into the room. Closing the door behind him he left a large space between him and Neil. The boys stared at each other. Neil waited for him to move closer but Andrew looked like he was waiting for Neil.

"Andrew come here." Neil reached out to him and motioned for him to sit next to him on the bed. He immediately moved next to Neil and watched him very carefully. "It's still a yes with you."

Neil watched tension seep out of Andrew at these words. "Don't say it if you don't mean it"

"You know I do. I feel safe with you."

"How can you say that? I broke our promise."

"No you didn't. Riko never laid a hand on me. He did always love other people to do his dirty work. He didn't touch me either." Neil refused to speak the name of Andrew's nightmare.

Andrew looked less tense with this and Neil continued, "You came for me. No one has ever done that for me before."

"I wouldn't leave you behind."

"Thank you."

"Never say those words to me again."

Neil was confused for a second but nodded anyways. He mentally placed "thank you" in the same category as "please".

"So what are we going to do?"

"We are not going to do anything. Riko knew what would happen if he tried to touch you. I will deal with him."

"What if I already have a plan?"

Andrew looked at Neil in surprise. "Tell me every detail. Do not leave anything out."

"What if I knew a way to get Riko expelled from Edgar Allen?"

"I'm listening."

"If we get Riko expelled, the branch family will have to deal with his fallout. He has not been careful and they do not have need of him anymore. Kengo's illness means a shift in power will come soon. They cannot afford a weak link so they might take care of him."

Neil watched Andrew understand the last words meant: death. "The Moriyamas could easily pay off the school to keep him though."

"They won't be able to after what Kevin and I have to say."

"You're going to get Kevin to speak up? How do you even know where he is?'

"He sent me his current contact after running away to live with his father. He will answer me at least. I have something else that might interest him enough."

"You think this will work?

"Yes. But Andrew, I need to make another deal."

"Oh?"

"I need you to protect Kevin. He's going to need some help coming out about everything Riko did to him."

"What's in it for me?"

"Name your price."

Neil knew Andrew would feel uncomfortable with the amount of trust Neil was giving him. He knew Andrew would never pass certain limits and that made him unafraid.

"No more going back to Riko. I don't care if he demands you go to night practice or some other thing for the US Court. You go back to his side and both of our deals are off."

"Deal. But I will not stand by if he threatens you."

"If he comes at me he will lose. And you will let me deal with him."

"How could I ever face you again if did nothing to stop Riko though?"

"Do not make the mistake of thinking I need your protection."

Neil was quiet for a minute before saying. "I heard what you said. I don't remember much from last night but I woke up to your voice. I was so groggy but the memory of what you said is so clear."

Andrew didn't say anything so Neil continued. "I can't go back to nothing either. I would pick you over him anytime without a deal, but if you were hurt because of me..."

"Let's just take Riko down and then we won't have to worry about it. Final offer - I protect Kevin if you don't go anywhere with Riko alone."

"Deal. Andrew, yes or no?"

"Yes."

Andrew leaned in and gave Neil a brief soft kiss. They sat there together a while longer in comfortable silence.

Once the afternoon approached, he boys started to get ready for the day. They would have to get back to school sparately from the team since they were hours away now. Andrew texted their coach saying they were staying with family for the rest of the weekend and not to wait up.

Despite that Aaron had barely said two words to Neil last night, he was shocked when he spoke up, "you should really go to a hospital and get checked out."

"I know you're not a doctor yet Aaron, but Andrew told me you have paramedic training. I probably should to get drug tested but you know there's not much else they can do for me,"

" I assessed everything myself last night, but there could be internal injuries"

"I'll take my chances."

"Idiot" he scoffed and returned to watching the tv.

Neil sent out a text to Kevin

We need to talk. The Kings reign is over.

Neil wasn’t expecting a response anytime soon. Kevin would need time to make his decision but Neil would give him 24 hours before forcing his hand. 

[1:20pm] Neil Josten: We need to talk. The King's reign is over

Neil put his phone away and continued plotting on how to take down Riko. First, Neil needed evidence. Hard proof of what Riko had done. The Moriyamas could pay off just about anyone, but with the change of power, they might take this opportunity to cut loose ends. Neil knew he and Kevin were technically under that category as well, but Neil had the potential to earn the family millions. Kevin had never caused any trouble for them and could find another way to become useful again.

Neil also knew he would have to document the horrors Riko inflicted on him. He would need a platform who was unafraid to turn him down. He considered his options before realizing he already had the perfect one.

He began to write "that is what abuse is: knowing you are going to get salt but still hoping for sugar" before launching into a scathing review of Riko. The King of Exy. Neil wanted to show everyone who Riko really was. He tried to demonstrate the slide into abuse their relationship took and how it took someone strong for Neil to get away before it was too late. He glossed over details in the final attack. He finally finished with writing about how he once had a brother, who turned into a monster. How he grieved the relationship they had but it had been broken beyond repair.

He would take the king's kingdom from him brick by brick.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue in this one, but Neil, Kevin, and Andrew plot to take down Riko.

Neil's phone read "incoming call from Kevin Day"

He picked up on the first ring, "Kevin, it's been a long time."

"Neil, I don't know what happened but you have to watch what you say-"

"I know what he's like Kevin. He was always more than willing to cross that line with me or did you forget?"

"No no it's just-"

"Kevin, he's gone too far."

"What happened?"

"Riko drugged me and left me with someone who would abuse me. He's been crazy this whole semester. His time is over. I know the Lord will not want the attention he will be drawing to the family."

"Well, if he makes a mistake, let the main family handle him."

"No Kevin. For what I have planned, I need to bring it to their attention. I need your story."

"I just don't know if I can. I haven't faced any of them since my hand broke."

"Since Riko broke your hand Kevin. Get used to saying that."

"Yes, Riko did break it. Do you think anyone will believe me though?"

"Yes, I was there that night remember? I have a story too. I'm sharing everything and we are taking him down. I have protection for you too Kevin. They won't touch you."

"Who?"

"Andrew."

"Do you really think he will be enough?"

"More than enough. He's kept me alive so far which is a much more difficult task."

"Alright. Where are you guys now?"

"Columbia."

"I'm in Palmetto. I'll come meet you guys."

"Okay, I'll text you the address."

"See you soon, Neil."

Neil clicked off before saying good bye. He found Andrew and told him Kevin was on his way. Neil guessed Kevin had been hiding out with his father there. Before his freshmen year at Edgar Allen, Kevin found a note from Kayleigh Day to Riko's uncle detailing who Kevin's father was.

David Wymack. He was about to take over as head coach for the Palmetto State Foxes. The current coach was finishing out his contract this year and then Wymack was set to take over. The Foxes were a terrible team, but the media suggested Wymack will help turn the program around since he learned exy from one of its co-founders. 

The boys waited for Kevin to arrive. Andrew and Kevin had met briefly during Andrew's recruitment, but had missed playing with him by a season like Neil. 

Kevin had actually been the one to find and recruit Andrew in the first place. Riko had been against it but Kevin saw his potential and demanded Riko sign him. Kevin had not made it long enough to begin working with Andrew.

A few hours later, a small black car pulled up in front of the house. Neil opened the front door for Kevin to walk through.

"It's good to see you again."'

"Have you been hiding out in Palmetto all this time?"

"Yes, I've been helping Wymack recruit."

"Ready to grow a spine and take Riko down now?

"There's something I have to tell you first. I've been training again."

"But Kev, they said you couldn't"

"I know I know but I just had to try. I did not feel right not being on the court and I do have another hand after all."

"You've been playing completely right handed?"

"I mean I already had been for a while. That's part of what caused this all in the first place. It's no where near as good, but it will do."

Neil was amazed. He looked at Kevin in awe and was beyond excited to see his old teammate play.

"Oh no, Junkie, this was not part of the deal" Andrew looked annoyed with this sudden talk of exy. The stupid sport that caused this whole mess for them in the first place. 

"Right, so Kevin, I am prepared to share my story with the school, which should be enough to get Riko expelled. Effectively sending him back to the Lord to deal with."

"That could work but don't you think they could just buy off the school?"

"Not with the story going public."

"But who would publish it? They could buy off anyone."

"I have someone. Don't worry. Just figure out what you're going to say."

"This could work."

Neil, Kevin, and Andrew began to plot out their stories. They needed to control exactly what pieces were enough to gain the attention they needed. Kevin would not make the return trip to Edgar Allen with them quite yet. No point for him to come public until the story was ready to blow.

With Neil and Andrew still in the middle of classes and exy season, they started to pack their things to head back to West Virginia. 

Neil went to say his good-bye to Kevin while Andrew finished grabbing things from his room. "Neil, Wymack will buy out your contract from Edgar Allen. I know Palmetto isn't the best, but it has been unbelievably nice to get a fresh start. All away from him."

"If he can buy out Andrew's too then you've got a deal."

"You really think he'll transfer?"

Neil thought back to his and Andrew's non-relationship. They hadn't discussed it yet, but Neil guessed Andrew wouldn't want to leave his side either. Neil had no real attachment to Edgar Allen and wasn't sure if he could stand the constant reminders of Riko even if his plan worked. He would've instantly said yes to Kevin's offer if it weren't for Andrew. He would not leave him behind if Andrew wanted to stay.

Neil guessed that Andrew had no attachment to the school either. Honestly, Palmetto would bring him closer to both Nicky and Aaron. He knew they were important enough to Andrew for him to want to protect them. While he still wanted Andrew to have the choice, he was certain he would be fine with the switch.

"Yes, his family would all be in one place."

"Alright, I'll talk to Wymack about it. Let me know what he says. You know I've been wanting to work for him since I got him signed."

Neil could tell he was excited about the prospect of Andrew joining Neil in his transfer. Wymack would surely be able to improve the Foxes at this point with the addition of Neil and Andrew alone. 

Andrew came downstairs and they headed for the rental car Andrew had picked up earlier. They had a long drive back and still needed to discuss everything that happened. Most importantly, how to initiate taking the King down. 

His reign would be over soon.


	11. Chapter 11

“So this is what you want me to publish? I was curious when you emailed me, but are you sure? It’s just so personal.

Their professor looked concerned. He just read a deeply personal piece about Neil’s abuse. In just a few pages, Neil stripped himself down and shared the torment over wanting to care someone who only shoved you down. About growing up knowing he would be forever in the shadow of someone else. About never getting to dream for his own life and at the same time wanting Riko to succeed or fail. 

“I'm sure. I want people to know. Kevin and I need to tell our stories. “

“This is a sign of recovery and strength Neil.”

“I couldn’t have done it without Andrew.”

Neil meant it. He never would have found the strength if Andrew had not lent him some first. 

He had been with him every step of the way. From first nudging him away from Riko to this suddenly inspired piece. 

They whole drive back Andrew and Neil plotted what they would do. They carefully planned how they would bring the knowledge of Riko’s abuse to everyone. 

Neil and Andrew had a connection to a source who wouldn’t turn them down. It was going to be public. But with the way they planned to release the stories, the school would have no way of ignoring what Riko had done. 

Neil has suggested they take their professor up on his offer to publish them. Neil told Andrew what he planned to write that would get people to pay attention. He was going to begin with “this is what abuse is: reaching for salt but always hoping for sugar” and it would slowly detail everything this person had done to him and others. Making sure to place the few good things Riko had ever done with him right before Neil punched them in the gut with stories of his scars. He planned to leave out some details of the most recent attack. The essay would leave out Riko’s name until the end but Neil’s details of it ensured everyone knew who he was talking about. He called him King or One. 

He was planning to add an interview with Kevin Day where Kevin would share his side of the story. This would be the first time the public heard anything from his “accident”. 

Kevin was still stressed about releasing the truth, but his story was one part of Neil's editorial. Once the piece was released, they planned to wait it out at the Columbia house together. For now, they were waiting it out at Andrew's apartment together. Andrew kept waiting for this to feel like an invasion of his space. To feel unsafe. But he never did because it was Neil. It was honestly better he was by Andrew's side than on his own.

Andrew knew they were playing with fire. If the Moriyama family did not buy anyone off, they would surely want to shut Riko up after this. Neil was certain Lord Moriyama would not the spare second son after all this. 

The public likely believe Kevin’s story and if they didn’t, well Neil had been smart enough to save the security footage taken from that night. He had it for insurance against the Moriyamas. He knew that night he would need protection or to at least make a deal of some sort. 

And this was indisputable evidence of Riko’s abuse. It showed him trashing that “sacred brotherhood” he always went on about. 

Andrew has to admit. Neil actually thought this one through. Unlike so many of his vitriolic interviews and comments. He had thought everything through it seemed.

He felt Neil staring at him the drive back to Andrew's apartment and commented on it. He waited a second for Neil to respond but when he didn’t said “spit it out already.”

“What do you think about transferring to Palmetto?”

“Why?”

“Kevin said Wymack would buy our contracts out.”

“You really think they’ll let us go after this?”

“I’ll make a deal with them. Too much of that place will remind me of Riko. I want to transfer but won’t if you want to stay.”

Andrew was surprised by this. He knew Neil really wanted to cut and run but he held out his side of the deal and wasn’t running. He was staying to fight with Andrew. For him too. Andrew was supposed to be protecting Neil but it seems he had changed the rules without Andrew even noticing. And no one had wanted to stay for or with Andrew before.

“Well go then. That orange is going to clash horribly with your hair though.”

“It’s fine. Just get used to Nicky bringing a huge poster for you to every game we have.”

“I’m starting to rethink this.”

“Too late. Can’t take it back now”

“Fine” Not like Andrew had been serious about rethinking staying here any longer. Being in Palmetto and closer to Nicky and Aaron would be nice. Not that he would ever admit it. And again, he wouldn't every admit it but his not-nothing with Neil was too important. He would never make Neil stay here when he clearly did not want to and Andrew didn't really care where he went to school. He would gladly follow Neil anywhere he wanted to go.


	12. Chapter 12

Salt and Sugar, Neil Josten  
This is what abuse is: always reaching for salt and hoping for sugar anyways. Oh dear brother, don’t you remember what it was like before you made ribbons out of my skin? Before you destroyed me with words and knives. Oh One, we’ve always had an understanding. Something not even Two could have. We were kids with something to prove. I dreamed of your success and acceptance. Somehow along the way you stopped being determined and changed into bitter. Along with that was the destruction of us. You always came back to me and seemed sorry. Yet next time you did not hesitate to push me down. Did you know it’s just a waste of time to push someone who is down when they’re already in the gutter? Half of the time I tried getting up for you. I convinced myself the King deserved his men. He needed someone too. I grew up admiring you and Two. The older brothers I always wanted. So willing to help me in my own path to our perfect team. Sometimes I believed having your approval and acceptance would have been worth more than my father’s. You gave me everything and treated me like nothing all at once. My body and mind are wrecked from the effort it took to try and support you.   
King, this is not a white flag waving. I am not defeated or saying surrender. That’s what I would be doing if I chose not to say anything. When did you believe your own hands were not enough to terrorize me? You brought up ghosts of the past to torment me and mine. I find this unacceptable. I am writing to you today to tell you, I am taking myself back. You can try to keep breaking me, but you don’t know how. Oh I am sure you wish you did. I am sure you are seething now. How dare your pathetic little three speak to you like this? Did you think you had finally taught me my place? Well you are correct. I found that my place is not with you and never will be again. I was willing to let you keep carving your angst into me, but you brought others into this. You brought him into this and this is where I draw the line. You tried to kill my one constant pillar of strength and I will not let you touch him. I know you’re afraid. It’s obvious. I am stronger because of him. I am walking away from you now and I better not hear you trying to take this out on anyone else because then, Riko, I’ll come for you. And I have always been my father’s son. 

Kevin called Neil as soon as the article broke, "Neil, he's going to kill us." The panic rang sharp in his voice. 

"No Kev, did you forget you have protection?"

"He won't forgive me though. I basically told everyone he destroyed my hand and that the number 2 doesn't mean anything anymore,"

"Who cares? That was the point."

"I'm sorry I just don't want to bring anything down on anyone."

"You know the Lord will see him as a loose end."

"What does that mean for us though?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes"

"Then I got us covered."

"Thank you. Oh and Neil, can't wait to see you and Andrew in Palmetto soon."

With that, Neil clicked off his phone. He went and sat on the couch in Andrew's apartment and waited for him to get back from class. He wondered how the rest of the campus was handling the news. Neil had only been outside the apartment earlier today for his math classes, but the story hadn't come out until after his class ended.

Neil believed the Lord would follow up soon. He was betting they would not be able to silence this particular story and have to deal with Riko. Both Neil's and Kevin's stories would soon be leaked to Nationwide sources. 

Neil glanced at his phone but only felt sick. 

[1:45pm] Riko: You're dead. You and Kevin both

[2:03pm] Riko: I thought you would've learned your place by now but if you can't be tamed at this point I will put you down

[2:04pm] Riko: Did you forget who you belong to?

[2:30pm] Riko: if you thought Drake was the worst thing I could do to Andrew you were wrong

Neil wanted to respond but he managed some self-control. He had to trust Andrew would get back safely. Once they heard from the head family they could leave EAU and head for South Carolina. They had discussed the transfer with academic advising. They believed Andrew and Neil should not have to stay on the same campus as their abuser and allowed them to finish their classes from the Columbia house. They would begin at PSU in the spring semester. 

Neil could not wait to get away. Andrew eventually came home and Neil felt instant relief that Riko hadn't gotten to him. Campus security was on alert today and Andrew could take on Riko. He knew Andrew's presence would take away his anxiety though.

"Anything interesting happening on campus?"

"Everyone's talking about it. No way they'll be able to buy their way out of this one."

"Good. Kevin called."

"Oh yeah. Another panic attack?"

"I think he's calming down a little. He's not near Riko he shouldn't be this stressed out."

"He just finally grew a spine. I don't think he wants to be tested yet."

"Fair. So now we just wait?"

"Yes."

Turns out they didn't need to wait long. Neil's phone went off about 20 minutes later with an unknown number.

Lord Moriyama was calling.


	13. Chapter 13

Neil picked up the phone call while recalling every lesson he knew when dealing with Lord Moriyama. He was the opposite of Riko in every way. "Lorg Moriyama. How may I serve you today?"

"Nathaniel. I heard what you did. A very precarious decision to draw attention to my brother like that. I could have had someone taken care of you already, but I sense you had a reason for doing this."

Neil was a little surprised. It would seem he had missed the shift in power then. If Ichirou was calling, he had officially replaced Kengo.

"I do, Lord. I assumed my opinions and words meant nothing."

"Usually, this would be true. Except, I am quite interested in your opinion of the second son. Which of you is the loose end that gets cut? I like to know the value of things before they are thrown away Nathaniel."

"I know I have no earned your ear, but everything I said was true. His desperation to earn the main family's attention and praise has cost the family millions. Kevin Day lost all of his contracts, and if your brother had his way, I would likely be dead by now. I know I have already stepped out of line, but I am concerned for him. He is not being careful. I left out many details, but only accused him of being a terrible friend and brother."

"This is true. How does that make you worth more than him?"

"It does not. I know the loyalty I owe your family. Mine and Kevin Day's actions have only drawn attention to Riko. We were careful to keep the main family separate from this."

"Why fight back against my brother at all though?"

"While I owe your family everything, he is not of the main family. His actions would have harmed me and what I could do for your family in return. I only want to live peacefully and donate my eventual professional salary back to your family."

"Such strong loyalty Nathaniel. I hope you are not lying to me."

"I would never, Lord."

"Someone will be in touch."

And with that the call was over. Well, it certainly could have gone worse. Neil knew there was still a chance they would come after him, but he tried to focus on packing up. Andrew and Neil were to join Kevin soon. 

He filled Andrew in on the plan and the two packed the car to head south. Neil felt instant relief that he would be gone from this place. Never to have Riko's hands on him again. 

He and Andrew could finally have some peace.

The drive went by fast. Andrew had refused to let Neil drive at all claiming that he was faster. Which was probably true. They had kept their phones on in case anything happened, but it was quiet since the call from earlier.

They made it to PSU and greeted Kevin at Wymack's apartment.

"Did you hear the news?" was the first thing Kevin had blurted out.

"What? Some exy update?"

"No, I didn't want to text you guys this, but they just announced Riko's death."

"What?" Neil could not quite believe it. He guessed Lord Moriyama made his decision then. He just could not believe it. He was free. 

Andrew squeezed Neil's hand as he realized the same thing. They were free. 

"They said he may have committed suicide. They're claiming the pressure got to him, but Neil, that's not what happened is it?"

"No, what you're thinking is right." Neil switched to french and tried to fill Kevin in on the phone call from earlier. He looked shocked and then sick. Neil was guessing Kevin had wished he was drunk for that conversation, but too late now. 

They did not have to wait more than another hour before Neil received a text form an unknown number simply saying contracts for him and Kevin would be sent soon. He would sign anything at this point. He never had to see Riko again. They had found Neil and Kevin to be worth more than Riko. 

Neil wanted to laugh at the irony. Most people would never think that, except the one who mattered. Lord Moriyama.

Kevin took Neil and Andrew to officially meet David Wymack. They signed their contracts, picked their housing, and planned their courses all to start the next semester. They were glad EAU decided already to let them finish their work off campus and could officially be away from this all.

For now, Andrew and Neil were staying at Abby's apartment. The team's nurse had a spacious extra room for them and secretly Neil was glad they weren't being separated. He needed Andrew's support and they were both still a bit anxious around strangers. 

Neil was working on his final essay for their writing class. Although it wasn't due for a few more weeks, he just wanted to get all of his work out of the way so he could focus on exy again. Their final prompt: explain the thing that is most important to you.

He started with a quote he found from a philosopher: "If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel that this can only be expressed by answering: because it was him; because it was me." 

He went on to discuss how Andrew was always strength for him. How he made Neil feel alive enough to push back against Riko's control. He only felt understood by Andrew. He knew he only had his feelings for Andrew because it was him. He felt like that for no one else and he never wished to. Andrew had given him everything and more.

He sent it to Andrew for proofreading. He watched Andrew open and read it. His expression was unreadable to Neil. A perfect mask. He reached the end and watched the blush form on Andrew's face. 

"You idiot" was all Andrew said as he grabbed Neil's collar.

"Yes" and Andrew kissed him and Neil knew he was home.

**Author's Note:**

> For reference: 
> 
> My Papa’s Waltz  
BY THEODORE ROETHKE  
The whiskey on your breath   
Could make a small boy dizzy;   
But I hung on like death:   
Such waltzing was not easy.
> 
> We romped until the pans   
Slid from the kitchen shelf;   
My mother’s countenance   
Could not unfrown itself.
> 
> The hand that held my wrist   
Was battered on one knuckle;   
At every step you missed  
My right ear scraped a buckle.
> 
> You beat time on my head   
With a palm caked hard by dirt,   
Then waltzed me off to bed   
Still clinging to your shirt.


End file.
